Causing Panic In The Streets

"What gives them the right to force me to buy a new TV?"
demanded my sister-in-law’s cousin at Easter dinner. The trigger for
this outburst was a discussion of how Verizon FIOS was pulling the plug
on providing analog feeds of metro New York City TV stations and giving
out free ‘mini’ converter boxes for use on customer TV’s that currently
have no box.

Cousin Lizzy (a pseudonym) had obviously seen those "end of analog" PSAs
that strangely leave out the words "over the air" when
saying that all TV must be digital by February ’09.

"Money", I quickly shot back. "The Federal Government is looking to make billions
of dollars selling soon to be unused TV channels to cell phone and
internet companies. But wait, you have cable, don’t you?" I asked. "Time
Warner", she said. "Then you’re fine" I said. "All you have to do is
wait for the letter from Time Warner saying that you have to get cable
boxes for the sets that don’t already have them. The only people that
have to worry are the people that are getting their TV with rabbit ears
or antennas on the roof. They are the only ones who are going to loose
their picture. They need to get one of the government’s $40 coupons for
a digital converter box."

Cousin Lizzy was disarmed but still indignant, so I added "Because they
can. They’re from the government and they are here to help you." And
child of the ’30′s Cousin Lizzy understood.